Em Pathos
The book of Hebrews contains an oft overlooked spiritual nugget of gold. It comes directly after the encouragement to be hospitable to people because “some have entertained angels unawares.” (13:2) Although it’s somewhat obscured in the author’s concluding comments, this nugget is indeed valuable to understand. So let’s take a look at it.
Empathy is a powerful tool God has given humans. The word is derived from the Greek words “em” (in) and “pathos” (feeling). Empathy is defined as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” It is the state of feeling as another feels, be it joy, sorrow, elation, pain, etc. The act of empathizing takes a lot of love and no small amount of imagination. In order to empathize we have to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, imagining that we ourselves are going through the same situation, enduring the same struggle, afflicted with the same ailment, etc.
Us the tools that God has give you to pray with great effectiveness.
In verse three of Hebrew’s 13 the author admonishes the readers to “Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” In other words, don’t just think about those in prison. Remember them as if you were there with them. Don’t just think about the persecuted. Remember them as if your back was sharing in the lashes of the whip. Too often in our busy world we feel sorry for those who are going through troubles or have lost a loved one, but never really break through to share in their distress. We act as if it is enough to remember to pray for the person in need. After all, that is all the time one can afford to put toward it. There is far too much emotional investment in praying with empathy as if going through the problem with them.
However, emotional investment is exactly what the nugget encourages. An investment on our part to put us in the middle of the problem with the person in need. But for what purpose?
This is where the power of empathy comes into play. God has granted us the ability to empathize so that we may more effectively pray. It is a fact that we are most interested in ourselves. This truth influences not only our physical self but our spiritual life as well. We pray most fervently when we pray for ourselves. You may not like that statement. But it is true. God certainly understands this and thus the reason for empathy.
No matter the trial, the single best thing to do when going through trouble is pray. Likewise, the best thing to do when confronted with a loved one’s need is to pray. The book of James in the New Testament says, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (5:16) If we pray most forcefully when we pray for ourselves, then empathy provides a way to most effectively pray for others going through trial when we ourselves are not. It is through empathizing that we can place ourselves in another’s situation, dire as it may be, and pray with absolute abandonment to see the answer. If we stand far off and never empathize with the needs of others, then we will never offer up our most fervent prayer on their behalf.
So the nugget calls us to remember as if we were in prison and as if we were persecuted. When you pray, commiserate with those you pray for, so that the urgency of the need is captured and a forceful, fervent prayer is made. God has granted us a powerful tool for our prayer life. In order to truly capture the power in this tool we must be willing to go beyond disconnected praying and enter into prayer that feels the pain of the need.